January 18, 2024

Hello friends,

In June or July of 2023, our friend Cat asked my husband “What would happen if you gave into your insanity?” This is our friend who also asks many upon greeting, “Are the terrors endless or episodic?” (My answer is usually episodic. Maybe that will be a prompt in the future.)

So the first question you might need to answer to find the answer to “what would happen if you gave into your insanity” is what is your insanity? It could certainly be my depression or my anxiety, but as Andrew pointed out when we reflected on this question, the persistent “delusion” that he had been fighting throughout his life is that he is in fact extraordinary.

He says he used to joke with people that “life is short, and then you die … if you are lucky.” And for some reason, people tended to agree with him and reinforce that worldview. So what happens instead when you fully buy in on the belief instead that you are special, that you are capable of anything, that we live in the good universe.

Changing that fundamental belief, or at least beginning to meant that where we are now felt impossible when Cat first asked us that question. It felt like giving into insanity to believe that buying a house and investing so heavily in our community was possible.

Of course, your insanity may look different. It may look darker. But I’ve noticed that I don’t look at a lot of things because I am afraid of what I might find. One of my goals for 2024 is to stop acting (or not acting) out of fear and instead act out of curiosity and love. So I encourage you as you are working on today’s prompt to really think about what your “insanities,” or those beliefs that we carry with us despite the fact that they may be delusions and contradict our actual experience, are. What would happen if you stopped fighting and just looked and accepted?

Take 5-15 minutes and write about

What would happen if you gave into your insanity?

Whether you’ve been pleasantly surprised and giving into your insanity opens a world of possibility, or you’ve discovered that it is really worth keeping up the fight and dismissing those ugly intrusive thoughts, I hope you are able to move forward with intention and without fear.

Your friend,
Laura