January 17, 2024

What habits would you like to develop in 2024? Pick a cue and a reward for new habit.

Author

Laura Waltje
January 17, 2024

Hello friends,

There is a popular myth that it takes 21 days of consistently doing an activity to form a new habit and 90 days to solidify it into a lifestyle. That myth comes from the book Psycho-Cybernetics, published in 1960, by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. What he actually said though is a minimum of 21 days. The myth bothers me for a couple of reasons, but the big one is that I've never actually managed to do something new consistently for 21 days (although we are getting pretty close for these emails). However, a 2009 article, How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world, published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, showed that for habits to become automatic took about 18 to 254 days, with most clustering around 66 days. While the range can feel intimidating (almost a full year!), I still found their findings encouraging because they found that while consistency made the formation time shorter, "Missing one opportunity to perform the behaviour did not materially affect the habit formation process." A 2012 article, Making health habitual: the psychology of ‘habit-formation’ and general practice, published in the British Journal of General Practice, summarizes the current literature and stresses the importance of a cue:

Participants in one study repeated a self-chosen health-promoting behaviour (for example, eat fruit, go for a walk) in response to a single, once-daily cue in their own environment (such as, after breakfast). Daily ratings of the subjective automaticity of the behaviour (that is, habit strength) showed an asymptotic increase, with an initial acceleration that slowed to a plateau after an average of 66 days. Missing the occasional opportunity to perform the behaviour did not seriously impair the habit formation process: automaticity gains soon resumed after one missed performance. Automaticity strength peaked more quickly for simple actions (for example, drinking water) than for more elaborate routines (for example, doing 50 sit-ups).

I don't know about you, but I find that encouraging. As someone with ADHD, I'm virtually guaranteed to miss several opportunities during the course of trying to establish a new habit. In the past, I've often missed a day or two and thrown up my hands saying, now I have to reset my 21 day timer and I'm never going to make this a habit. It is very tempting to just give up. However, it seems that returning to your new habit again and again is ultimately as effective as showing up every day without fail.

Take 5-15 minutes and begin by making a short list of new habits you'd like to develop. Then identify a cue and reward that can help you solidify these behavior patterns.

What habits would you like to develop in 2024? Pick a cue and a reward for new habit.

Most of the time looking back at what I wrote this time last year is interesting/encouraging, but sometimes it can be frustrating to see what I didn’t make progress on, or at least not as much or as consistently as I would like to.

One of the things that has been really helping this year is the support I’ve had in developing new habits and sustaining them by working on them together with those around me. A big goal in 2024 has been and continues to be to ask for help.

So here are some habits I’d like to develop or continue to develop in 2024

Read before bed
Charge my phone outside of my bedroom or at least not by my bed
Brush my dog Felix's teeth once a day
Writing every day
Meditate daily
Finish the day by planning the next day in my planner
Start the day by checking my planner
Tai Chi every morning
Skincare every morning and evening
Making my bed every day
Refilling my humidifier
Eating lunch

I don’t have the energy today to actually do the cue and reward portion of my prompt. I’ve been sitting here for about 5 minutes or more trying to generate the energy and motivation to do it. I’m frustrated at myself for wanting to give up, but I also recognize that I’m not making progress, so I will be gentle and compassionate with myself. Maybe I’ll return to this prompt later. Maybe I won’t. I definitely need a snack in the meantime.

I hope you find the research about habit formation as encouraging as I do. It may take a while for the new habit to become engrained, but by staying in the attempt you will ultimately reach your goal.

Your friend,
Laura