February 8, 2024

Hello friends,

One of my biggest obstacles right now, and always, is fear.

I am currently at the AWP conference. One of the main reasons I am here, is because I want to connect with writers that might potentially submit to the literary magazine I am developing with my dear friend and collaborator Rabha Ashry. We founded our small press while in college and while we haven’t done much with it, we have always been committed to highlighting and uplifting the voices of qbipoc writers for nearly 10 years. While it wasn’t explicitly in our original mission statement, I would also add the voices of disabled writers to that list.

As a queer (in both sexual orientation and gender identity) femme person married to someone people assume is a white cis man, as a 2nd generation immigrant, as someone with an invisible disability, all of my diverse identities are easily erased. Most people assume that I am a cis-het able-bodied white woman and there are a lot of benefits to passing. However there is a deep grief to being excluded from the communities that feel like they should or could be home. My authority not only to speak on, but even to be in solidarity with other marginalized writers inevitably will and has been challenged. While passing is definitely a privilege, being forced to continually out myself and perform my own marginalization is violence. A particularly ugly and common type of violence where we tear each other down instead of building up community.

I know that if I position myself as the editor of a literary magazine committed to publishing qbipoc and disabled writers, I will be accused of profiting off of marginalized people (especially since without funding, we will at least initially not be able to pay our writers). In today’s online landscape, I will be “canceled.” There are a lot of ethical issues around publications that I am still thinking about and sorting out, but I realize that my fears around this have really stopped me from fully investing.

There are a lot of ways and categories in which fear is my greatest obstacle. This is just one example.

Take 5-15 minutes and write about

What are your current obstacles?

I hope that looking candidly at your obstacles help you to overcome them. Fear especially makes us want to look away. I hope you are able to face your obstacles with bravery and whole-heartedness.

Your friend,
Laura